2009!

We got in last night from a whirlwind trip to visit the families.
We really didn't stay long enough to feel like we had much quality time with anyone, but that's just how the holidays are, I guess. Two notes of interest-Zoey thinks Santa lied about the laptop and cell phone and Anders is no longer using a pacifier!!

I do have an appointment with a surgeon Dr. Tommy Young on Monday. Dr. Ellison, my wonderful OG/Gyn, whom I love dearly, took care of getting all my records and Mammogram over to him, so hopefully I will know something then. I had a hysterectomy scheduled for January 6th due to an enlarged uterus, so I do know that has been postponed, but will probably happen later and will include taking out my ovaries. Dr. Ellison said that since I've had a recurrence of breast cancer my chance of ovarian cancer increases so now there is a need to remove them also.

I have so many questions I am anxious to have answered. I am okay with the idea of a mastectomy, a hysterectomy and even chemo and radiation. I am just concerned about what they may find when they check my lymph nodes. It would just change everything if this has spread into other parts of my body. My thoughts are that this was my yearly mammogram, so nothing was there last year. I also had my tumor marker blood test come back normal at my spring physical. This gives me hope that this is new and hasn't had time to spread. I also know of women who have a mastectomy and no other treatment is necessary. I just keeping praying "Lord, I want what you want." Please pray that too.

I am in so much better shape spiritually than I was the last time I had this battle with cancer, but this time I have so much more to lose. I have experienced the peace of God before in my life, but NEVER like I have in these last few days. It's hard to describe, but it's just like I don't have this on my mind on the time. I'm not saying that I don't think about it, but it's not an obsession. I am not asking "why me?" like I have in so many other instances in my life. I really feel like God is in control. I mean after all-what can I do??? I did have a break down on Pete Saturday night. I had a terrible cold and was just so tired I cried and cried and cried and made my head practically explode. But when I did finally stop I just fell asleep. I now have gargantuan cold sores on my lip and nose to attest to my head cold and the stress of crying so hard. I am grateful for the prayers of everyone and I will continue to write here for anyone who is interested. You can comment here too, if you like.

I am claiming Joshua 1:9 of course- "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest."