Day 31

This was the 31st day of school here at Fernwood Academy. How do I know? I'm keeping track, of course. Not because it's drudgery or because I can't wait for the next holiday to roll around it's because...I have to! We are registered with the Palmetto Homeschool Association and they require us to keep track of our days. I even have a laminated membership card I keep in my wallet if I need to ask for a teacher discount or in case anyone ever inquires as to why my children are not in school.

This is a picture of the cell we made. We are studying Exploring Creation with Human Anatomy and Physiology.

I am happy to report that we are still having fun. The girls will often say they can't wait for school the next day.  I've heard people say that its a lifestyle and not just an educational choice and I now understand what that means. Learning is now a big part of what we do together. We sing a states and capitals song in the car, search for the same books in the library, make crafts that go along with the lesson we are studying, do experiments together and just experience life together. I know what they know now. Before I got papers from school showing a fraction of what they did at school. I only knew what I would go over with them for homework and not what they had really learned. It is so satisfying to see them learn something new and actually be present to see the lightbulb go on and to know I was part of that.  And all this learning of new material or should I say relearning of forgotten material is empowering to me too. It's true that knowledge is power. Look out Pete, I may be the new brain in the family!

Fernwood Academy is now in session

Well, the construction is to the point where we can actually have class in our new schoolroom (what used to be the garage) and I am pleased to report that everything is going very well so far. Our first day of Classical Conversations was wonderful and I even got a little lump in my throat during the opening ceremony. Throughout the summer I have had some ups and downs regarding this new endeavor and I asked God to just give my heart a little affirmation that homeschooling was truly his will for my family. As we pledged the Bible, prayed, and read scripture on that first day, I could feel God giving that little squeeze that said to me, "This is it! THIS is what is best for your family!" I could have cried.

Serving the Lord is such an adventure. I never want to do anything that is not what's best for my family and He is truly the only one that knows that. I can say that the love I have for my children is great, but it pales in comparison to how much the Lord loves them. And I could say that no one cares about their education more that I do, but the Lord cares a lot more that I ever could. WE are officially out of the rat race. We are no longer trying to measure up to the man-made standard. We are raising our children up to serve the Lord and He is taking care of their future. As stressful as this will be at times, I feel so free. Free to be who God wants us to be and that is a homeschool family!

 

End of school in more ways than one!

So I cried Friday at Zoey's awards day. I was so proud of her accomplishments this year and how much she has matured and I was especially proud that she was awarded the "Bucket-filler" award. A bucket filler you may know is someone who fills someones "bucket" by being kind, complimentary and taking an interest in them. But I cried because.... I'm afraid. I am very sure, I mean like 100% sure that home schooling is God's will for our lives, but still there is fear. Just like any calling from Him I suppose, there is fear. "Can I do this?" I think to myself forty eleven times a day. Thankfully though, the fear is only fleeting and the joy and peace comes back. Thats like the bonus prize for being obedient. Everyone should try it. The last thing I want to do is be unhappy with what God has asked me to do. I know people like that, and it's just pitiful.

Serving the Lord is such an adventure! I know there were times in my life when I thought I was in control and I thought I was happy, But now, more than twenty years later, I know that true happiness comes when you GIVE UP control of your life. And that's where the adventure comes in. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be home schooling my kids I would have laughed in your face. But here I am, joining the ranks of the people I have always thought were nuts.

It's funny to me to read peoples reactions when they hear of our plans. I want to tell them the whole story of how it all came about. Partly to give glory  to God and highlight how He works in the lives of his children, but also to make myself seem less insane.  Sometimes I get that vibe from moms reminiscent of the bottle vs. breast or working mom vs. stay-at-home mom debate and that bothers me. I remember when I realized breast feeding wasn't going to happen for me with Allison. For awhile when someone asked me or when I saw a breastfeeding mom, I'd sort of feel a little guilty like I couldn't provide everything I wanted to for my child. And then there were times the tables would turn and I'd meet a working mom who seemed to feel like she had to offer me an explanation as to why she wasn't a stay-at-home mom. I guess its mom-guilt or something. When I get this feeling I always want to shout "This is just for our family. It's God's will for us. We loved school. For crying out loud I went to college for six years to BE a public school teacher! I am certainly not going to suggest you go off the rails on this crazy train!" So far I haven't shouted to anyone, but I've thought about it at least twice. :)
Our garage is being enclosed to become our new school room and it is very exciting. A lot of people don't use any special space other than the kitchen table, but for me, having a school room will be very important. I will need to separate myself to a certain extent from the daily chores so that we can be focused.  I have no idea what it will be like, but I know that I am easily distracted by what needs to be done around the house and I want to separate those duties from my teaching duties at least for a few hours each day. I think I have talked the girls into starting school in August so that we can have more flexible time in the school year.  I will post some pictures of the room transformation so I can have my own "Design on a Dime" show.

Spring BREAK for WHO?

The kids have separate spring breaks this year so this is the Little Man's week off. He has been a force to be reckoned with these last two days I'm telling you. I am trying my best to tackle several projects I've had on my list for awhile now and I have been so looking forward to having some uniterrupted time to work this week. Honestly its hard for me to get much done between nine and noon on his school days. The weather has been nice so the idea has been for the Little Man to play outside while I am working on the front porch. I am painting the front door an antique red and sanding down my porch swing.

He has been in and out, front yard to back yard, helping our neighbor plant flowers, inside watching tv, fixing multiple snacks, helping the neighbor put up his mailbox and a few other things. A few other things like mmmm... Oh like--CUTTING THE CHEESE. Literally, he cut cheese with my good cloth cutting scissors. It's like once you deem something as "good" around you may as well just forget it. "Please don't cut paper/plastic/hair with Mommy's "good" scissors" I always say. My fault really for never mentioning cheese.
 
And then I knew something was up when I found a dirty hand print wrapping around my nice hard case for my sunglasses. He must have thought that case would be the perfect holding spot for some..... EARTH WORMS!!!! 
"Dear Vera Bradley,
Although your black quilted sunglass case is much too big and bulky
to carry in my purse, it makes the perfect earthworm holder.
Carry on with your amazing work."
Sincerely, Fern

I may not be the neatest house keeper in the world, but I do have a thing about my kitchen table. I wipe it off several times a day. Maybe because it's black and you can see all the crumbs and spots real easily. So anyway, I was clearing up dishes after supper and he came back from the bathroom, crawled up and sat down on my kitchen table....WITHOUT ANY PANTS ON!!!!! 

Unless the Lord specifically mentions homeschooling that one, I'm just gonna send him on to school like the idea never. even. occured to me. :)

A life extraordinary

See the kitty? Can you say kitty? What color is that kitty? What does the kitty say?
I remember how I was constantly teaching and talking to my kids when they were little. Everything was a teachable moment. I always explained things to them and read to them every night. We'd color and sing and go for walks and explore. But when they started to school that changed. I wasn't the teacher anymore. I became the homework tutor, the lunch maker, the paper organizer, the agenda signer, the school bus greeter, the alarm clock, the project supply getter, the room mom, the field trip chaperone. Thankfully, I turned my teaching job over to some really great teachers. I can honestly say I have never had one complaint with any of them. We would always pray before school started that they would get the teacher that would suit them best, and we were always happy with who God chose. Our public schools are really good from what I can tell. The girls have always done well, never complained about going, and never once got suspended. :) Even the bus ride home has been okay. All has gone well. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right. RIGHT???????

Allison is the pleaser. She works really hard for her grades and does well. She has always been the teachers pet. Sometimes I would cringe when she'd say she"d had to walk a student to the office that day because they threw up and had to go home.She has had one or two close friends she enjoys being with at school. She loves to read and begs to go to the library so she can always have a book to read before bed.

Zoey on the other hand is little miss social. She loves to go to school to see her friends. She doesn't work very hard and hates homework. She just glances at her spelling words and makes 100. Just when you think she's not listening, she can repeat back facts I have easily forgotten. Easy peasy. Reading response journals are zipped through and her choice of book is whatever is easy and quick. Go Dog, Go. Really Zoey? Really?

Well, I tried to imagine telling Pete about what God had laid on my heart. He was probably going to shrug it off like so many of the other crazy ideas I've come up with over the years. I pictured what would happen if I told the girls I was considering homeschooling. What would my family say? What would my friends say? Most importantly, what did the Bible say? You would know there are 45,122 verses that have to do with teaching children. Not exactly, but plenty.

To be honest, I mean completely honest, I don't want to make the sacrifice. I like my "me" time. I like going to the grocery store alone. I like browsing in Belk after I get my nails done before I pick up the Little Man at school. Sometimes I can even come home and lie down awhile or just take the morning off when I'm sick. I like having lunch with Pat after Bible study. Right now I am free from nine to noon everyday to do whatever I I I I I I want!! I'm the mom that jumps up and down when school goes back from the summer remember? My nerves are usually so shot from the fussing and fighting and activity around here when Monday comes it's a relief. So if I homeschool, there will basically be no more "me time."

Reasons why I don't want to homeschool-
I will have to take them everywhere with me-grocery, doctor, Hobby Lobby, gym
No more Tuesday morning Bible study
 No more fake nails
They will be home all day making messes all over the house
 I will have to make lunch and clean up the kitchen after lunch and lunch will be here at home and not out with a friend
 I might be expected to wear my hair in a bun and churn my own butter and sew all our clothes

These are some really good reasons, aren't they?????? Aren't they?

So this is what I got-- Totally random, God spoke to my heart. The Bible said it was a good idea. Can't shake it. Everywhere I look, see weird homeschool people. Accidentally sat across from the sweetest, most polite young homeschooled girl who was the best conversationalist EVER. Books I'm reading talk about homeschooling-Bringing Up Boys, etc. "Seek ye first" verse shows up everywhere-sermons on raido, preacher's sermons, sermon on cruise, Sunday School lessons. Billboards. Not really billboards, but it WAS getting ridiculous. Confided in my friend Autumn and asked her to pray for me. Finally, I surrendered. "Yes, Lord. I will do this. I accept that this is your will for my family. I know I can do this with your help." Then an unbelievable sense of peace and joy overcame me. But I still had so many questions and challenges to evercome.

So what about Pete? I got up the nerve to tell him what had been on my mind and heart and he thought it was a great idea. Check.
What about Allison? She comes home from school one day and has a break down about how difficult school is and how she is so stressed out and that she is so tired of trying to please so many teachers and cries on my shoulder. God was changing her heart. She was so relieved when I told her the plan. Check.
How will I ever figure out how to do this? I find out a huge homeschool convention is coming to Greenville. Check.
What about socialization? Autumn tells me there is a once a week homeschool class called Classical Conversations offered nearby. Check.
I'm not like other homeschool moms. I went to the homeschool convention and it was so amazing and there were sooooo many moms there without buns OR homemade clothes. Check.
What about my social butterfly Zoey? I tell her about the plan to homeschool and she jumps up and down with excitement. Check.
What will the family think? Right away my mom thinks its a great idea and reminds me of how many of her friends grandchildren are homeschooled. Pete's folks thought it was an admirable desire. Check.
What about Anders? He gets in on all excitement, asks what being homeschooled means and then declares he was NOT going to be homeschooled.

So that pretty much has you up to speed with my life. All of this just because of a laundry room prayer. It's a life extraordinary.

Singing at Sea

The Fern5 had a great time on the cruise. I have always wanted to go on a tropical vacation in the winter and this one was perfect! The casinos and bars were shut down and replaced with fantastic southern gospel singing and preaching. A day in Freeport, a day at Half Moon Cay, and a day in Nassau, followed by a whole day at sea. I was especially glad that the ship left out of my hometown of Jacksonville and my mom was able to join us. We also had our friends the Lees and the Deatons and Mrs. Barbara along to add to the fun.

Allison enjoyed some independence on the cruise because we felt it was a safe atmosphere. Jake didn'tmind if she tagged along with him to get ice cream ten times a day.

Our waiter, Tiger, loved Zoey. She even got up and danced with him much to the delight of our friends. I was in the cabin that night seasick.

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We were so happy hhat Anders enjoyed the activities at Camp Carnival so that we could go hear the singing and preaching without him getting restless and bored. I think my men are so handsome!We were so busy and having a great time that week, but still in the back of my mind I was contemplating that voice that seemed to say "I do have more planned for you. I'm not going to leave you in that laundry room. I am putting you back to work. Raise those children up to serve me and I will take care of everything else. Remember to seek me first. " Even though I was thinking about it constantly, I could not bear to utter a word to Pete or the kids. I just knew Pete would think I was nuts and surely the girls would not comply. They love school way too much to give it up. I had no intention of opening up that can of worms during our relaxing family vacation. And plus, I was so afraid that speaking it out loud might make it a done deal. And I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I ain't no fan of homeschooling.

Homeschooling is not for me

Because we were taking our family on a cruise in February I called my friend Karen to find out about her recent cruise. I do this a kind of research a lot. I'm like, "Oh you did that? Tell me all about it because I may be doing that too." She gave me lots of good advice and got me really excited about our cruise. The last thing she did was share a little about her oldest daughter and a little trouble she had had in math. Karen is one of those homeschool moms. Ew. How she does that I don't know. I have never been in favor of homeschooling myself. When I was a guidance counselor it was a nightmare to enroll one of those socially inept kids after they had been homeschooled. It always struck me funny that their "grades" were always A's and most of the parents wanted them to skip at least a grade or two because they were "so much smarter" than the public school kids. It also would infuriate me when a kid would get in trouble or a parent would get disgruntled with a teacher and pull them out to homeschool them. I took that personally because I thought my school was superior and those teachers were some of my best friends. Anyway, enough ranting. Not a homeschool fan. So you can imagine that my excitement over the upcoming cruise was squelched by a sick feeling in my stomach when I hung up the phone and a still small voice spoke to my heart. That voice said, "You should homeschool."

Anti-depressants and success

I think it may have had something to do with Effexor. I was taking it after my hysterectomy to help with hot flashes and night sweats. I didn't think I was depressed, but just in case I was, I thought this would help. Well, I was mistaken. An anti-depressant is a big deal. It's not like you can take it awhile and just stop. It's mind altering; I think it made me depressed. I sort of think I have been in a fog for awhile now. Thankfully I am no longer taking it and I feel so much better-much clearer and less numb. It's hard to explain. I wanted my children to succeed at everything. When they participated in a sport I would think, "Is this going to be her/his sport? How does his/her ability compare to the others? Will this sport lead us to a scholarship?" Or "when is the next time she can take the test to see if she qualifies for the gifted and talented program?" and when they were smaller it was "where can I get ribbon to make a bow to match that outfit?" or "Is my kid well-liked by the other kids?" My focus was raising "successful" kids-smart, athletic, cute, popular--possibly even in that order. So since these were my goals we focused on school work, sports, fashionable clothing and friends. I looked to report cards to tell me if they were smart. I yearned for the coach to tell me she was a good soccer player. I waited for the festival judge to tell me she was a good pianist. I considered the playdate invitations to determine popularity. Isn't that what we do as parents? Honestly. Isn't this what we ALL do? Why can't we just enjoy watching our kids have fun playing a sport. Why can't we rejoice when we see their skills improving instead of letting a report card or piano festival rating tell us this? Shouldn't the non-stop giggles coming from the back seat of the van be enough to affirm my child is fun to be around? Worrying about all this was enough to make me need an anti-depressant.

Is this all there is?

For awhile now I've just had this feeling that there must be someting more. I kept telling Pete, "Don't you feel like there must be more to this life? I mean, would the Lord take me on such a wild trip in 2009, heal me from cancer twice, and then just leave me here to do laundry the rest of my life?" My life is His to do with what He pleases. I want to be whatever He wants me to be. I love my life. I am happy. We certainly are busy. So what's next? I prayed "Lord, you have done so much in my life already. I want to live my life for your glory. I want to DO more. I want to BE more for you. I want what you want. I want a life extaordinary." Maybe I need a job, I thought. Could I be having a mid-life crisis? Is this some form of post-traumatic stress disorder?

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. And all these these things will be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

So I waited for awhile in the laundry room. Seeking...

I'm BAAAAAACK!

Well well well. Here I am again trying to put my crazy thoughts into words and hoping that my insanity will make someone else feel more secure about their own. Something exciting is brewing int he lives of the Fern5. Stay tuned for more information!