Back to school!

The girls were so excited to go back to school. They came home bubbly and happy about their classes and their teachers. Looks like we are off to a great start. I am so glad my children like school.

Momentary happiness

Contrary to what I was accused of today, I was not basking in tranquility somewhere with cucumbers over my eyes. I had a goal and I accomplished it. I am happy. Perhaps you are wondering what it is that would make Fern so happy. You probably think I'd be happy with a new car or some fancy piece of jewelry. A carribean cruise? Well, this is what makes me jump for joy. This sight is what makes me so happy I could cry.









































Wait for it....






























That's right. An EMPTY laundry hamper. Ain't nuttin in there but a forlorn sock, a forgotten cami, and eleven cents. Oh happy day! I know. It's sad. A cruise could me make me happy too, though.

You go, Mama!

Good grief! I have 47 pages of information sheets to fill out for both girls for tomorrow, but all I want to do is blog. For awhile I sort of lost sight of my purpose here, OR maybe I have just been too distracted and busy, OR maybe the kids have stayed up too late for me to even have the time to get my thoughts together, but I'M BACK. I feel invigorated. The Lord has been so good to me and I have an obligation of sorts to share that with anyone who will listen.

My mom is really fired up about sharing her faith and I am trying to encourage her. I said to her "What have you got to lose Mom? If people just think you've gone mad with grief, then that's okay." I laugh when I think about her at the grocery store, waiting for the right person and the courage to strike up a conversation and give them a tract. But she has really been a blessing to me lately due to her newfound courage and her real urgency to tell people about Jesus. She has a great testimony about how the Lord has helped her these last few months. Losing the love of her life, something that oftentimes causes people to go into a deep depression, or to lose hope, or just completely fall apart, has caused my mom to reinvent herself, to really find her purpose. She has a story to tell, a Lord and Savior to share and a light to shine for others. SHE really needs a blog. She's always had a card ministry where she'd send notes to people who may need encouragement or just to let them know they were missed in Sunday School. Lately though she has been writing thank you notes or just random letters to people that would just blow you away. She has such a way with words. My thank you cards are usually boring cookie cutter things that people read over the trash can. If you ever get a note from my mom, you'll save it. You'll tuck it in a book somewhere and read it again later. Her whole life has been spent being a wife and mother and when dad died she felt lost. Dad was the main decision maker, yet she did so many things for him. She didn't just take care of him, she took good care of him; fixed him breakfast every morning-special shakes with whey protein, flax seed oil, oatmeal and fruit. (I'm doing good if there's a banana in the fruit basket for the Knight!) She waited on him hand and foot. He made the decisions about finances, house repair, etc. So while she was entrenched in grief, she was struggling to make all the decisions AND feeling like she wasn't needed. In the last month, though, I have watched her become transformed. She has a peace about her because she has a purpose now and a different kind of joy that one can only experience when you find that Jesus really is all you need. I'm excited for her really. She is well on her way to being all out for God.

She misses Dad terribly, but she has a job to do before she sees him again.

Happy New (School) Year!

So when Pam suggested we take our families to Pigeon Forge this summer I was a little bit skeptical. I mean first of all, I'm a beach girl. I grew up in Florida for cryin' out loud. A beach vacation was almost written into my prenuptual agreement. And secondly, could anyone tolerate the Fernfamily in close quarters for 6 days straight? (Remember how I told you my kids have been totally unruly of late.) Well, I must say that we had a great time. The kids played well together, The Knight and Larry got along fabulously, Pam and I discovered we are sisters separated at birth, Dollywood is really a great place and aside from having to wear a swimsuit, Splash Country was a blast. So for anyone out there wondering, the beach will always be my favorite spot to vacation, but Pigeon Forge is a close second.

The girls are heading back to school Tuesday! Can you hear the excitement in my voice? It's time. We have had all the lazy days of summer we can take and it is time to get a little structure back into our lives. Allison is starting a new school for third grade and will take back up with her piano lessons. Zoey is excited about first grade and ready to get back on the soccer field. The Little Man is turning three on the 31st and will be going to school five days a week this year.

The beginning of the new school year is like the beginning of a new calendar year for me. I like to set goals, make plans, and start over. I even buy school supplies for myself. (Three rolls of tape and a new hole punch today.) So since the beginning of 2009 was a total dud for me, I'm looking at this as sort of a new start for me too. I am looking forward to a new Bible study at RSBC, working out at the Y, and reconstructive surgery. I have prayed about the surgery and I feel at peace about it now. I can't really explain what happened, but I will say that walking close to God is wonderful and knowing His will is the best feeling in the world! I don't know that I will be blogging about all the details here, but I will be happy to talk with anyone who is interested.

So you're up to date with me. Vacation was fun. School starts back this week. God is good.

A small request from a big dog

Hi Friends,

My family is going out of town next week and I have to go to be boarded at the vet. Unless of course anyone out there would like to take me in for the week and make a little extra money. I must warn you though, I am big. Really big. But I am friendly, very well behaved and fully house trained, and I do not shed. I sleep in a crate and like to lie on the the AC vent most of the day.

You can email my parents if you are willing to take me in. Thanks for your kind consideration.

Sincerely, Woody

PS- I've been to the groomer and I smell great!

Forever my Knight

He showed up at the front door of my little mill house one February night in full western dress, including tight jeans, a cowboy hat and a big belt buckle. He wisked me away to a night of county line dancing at the Crystal Pistol. It didn't take many dates to realize this was it for us and it didn't take long to figure out he was no cowboy. Instead he was a knight and we started spending every spare minute with each other. I told him all about my cancer battle the year prior, just so he would know that this chick was no ordinary college girl. I thought he should know that life with me may not be easy. It was scary to fall in love so fast and begin thinking about being with that someone forever. At that point in time I wasn't even sure forever would be that long for me.

I'm not sure why I am in the mood to reminisce about the early days with the Knight. Lately there have been days when I am weary just trying to keep my head above water. Some days I joke that I may just leave and not come back. Most days I meet him at the door when he walks in from work and thank him for coming home.(I usually run to him and fall into his arms and say "Thank you for coming home" in a super-dramatic fashion. You can ask him. He will verify this fact.) I have doubts sometimes that I am a good mother. I often second-guess my child rearing ability. Sometimes I wonder if my children are going to turn out normal in spite of their crazy mama. I pray for God to give me patience and to help me be the mom He wants me to be. There's so much I don't know about this job as a domestic engineer. But what keeps me showing up for work everyday, the reason I know I can make a go at this child-rearing gig, is that my co-worker (my boss, really) is the man that God chose for me. There's something about that fact that makes me so infinitely happy that even in my lowest times, my most frustrating of days, when dark clouds of insecurity loom overhead, I know that God, because he is so good, picked him and that we will live together for as long as God intends for our forever to be.

Watch me, Daddy!

"Watch me, Daddy!" I'd say as I performed my latest underwater maneuver in our pool. "Watch me, Daddy!" I'd say as I turned a cartwheel in front of the television news.

As I was getting ready for the ladies' prayer walk breakfast at church this morning, I came across a verse that has been rolling through my head all afternoon.
Psalm 99:5- Exalt ye the Lord our God, and worship at his footstool: for he is holy.

I love the image of the footstool. That's EXACTLY where I want to be-on the footstool of God.

I'm envisioning God the Father there smiling at me while I am sitting on his footstool worshipping Him. I'm close to him, there at his feet even, as near as I can be. He's looking only at me. No tv, no newspaper, no baseball game. But I can't think of the words to say. I'm too overcome with gratitude. I'm sure I have a huge lump in my throat and very shy. So instead of talking to him I'm just going to show him. I'm going to use my talent-maybe it's not a cartwheel or water aerobics. But it's the talent he gave me. It's what he handpicked for me to use for his glory. "Watch me..."