Oh boy...

So after my chemo and radiation treatments were over in July 1994, I met The Knight that following February and we got married in December. My doctor recommended I wait 5 years after treatment to become pregnant. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and left us with thoughts that we may not be able to have children at all. So when Allison Grace was born in 2000, we thanked the Lord for His gift to us. She was an easy-going baby and such a delight. She smiled easily and went willingly to anyone who wanted to hold her. The Knight and I felt so blessed. I had not planned to be a stay-at-home mom because I knew that my job as a middle school guidance counselor was the best job possible for a mom's schedule. I loved my job, but the Lord started to change my heart and I began wishing I could be at home with her. I felt like I was leaving my child in the care of someone else while I went to take care of someone else's child. Almost 2 1/2 years later, Zoey Grace was born and we again felt like our cup was running over. She stole our heart and blended right into our routine. Two precious little girls were enough to keep us quite busy and I was enjoying staying at home. We pretty much decided that 2 was enough. But when Zoey was around 18 months old I got the baby bug again, but that would go away as soon as the girls started to misbehave or I had a crazy-busy day wrangling the two of them. I started to gradually give away my baby stuff. But there just seemed to be something missing from our family. I just kept thinking that there would be another chapter to our book. So after much thought, late night discussions and prayer, we decided to try for a third. When I became pregnant we were thrilled but scared to death. I was afraid we were setting ourselves up for a life filled with stress and financial strain. AND the idea of possibly having three teenage girls one day was mind boggling. Our friends and family were a little surprised at the news and we decided early on that we would not find out the baby's sex. I always enjoyed being pregnant and the third time was probably the best-even though I WAS 37. I started to pray that the baby would be a boy. I claimed Psalm 37:4 -Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. I would ask God to do it for the Knight. I felt like he was such a good man and he was so faithful to God and a good servant of the church, I mean a guy like him-so smart and handy and athletic and humble and knightly, you know, really needed a boy to pass down all those genes. But after a few days of praying for a boy, I'd start to feel guilty and think "How can I pray for a boy when I really just need to pray that the child will be healthy. How can I be so shallow?" But after awhile I'd go back to asking God to give us a boy, a man-child, a namesake. Much like Hannah from the Bible did, I told God that if He would give us a boy, I would give him back to him for whatever he wanted or needed him to be. There was so much excitement surrounding not knowing the baby's sex. So many strangers would see us out with two big bow wearing little girls and ask me what we were having. Even my mother-in-law thought we knew, but weren't telling. I just tried to tell myself that God would give us just what our family needed. I would not allow myself to be disappointed in anything God gave us. I had to be scheduled for a c-section because at my last ultrasound they estimated the baby's weight at 12 pounds. Everyone was so excited! First about the sex and then about the weight. Being the practical, mathematical sort, The Knight was constantly saying to me "You know, statistically the chances that this baby will be a boy are..." but I would cut him off with a harsh look and a jab. So when that doctor pulled out that baby and handed him over to his daddy, he held him high into the air, just like the scene from The Lion King, and said "It's a BOY!!!" Tears of joy and disbelief overcame us. How could this be? How could we be so blessed with another healthy child to raise for the glory of God? I thought in my heart, this baby belongs to God. In the mean time, though, I am wearing myself ragged chasing him, keeping him out of stuff, and off of furniture. Just keeping him inside the house lately has been a challenge. Just today he washed down my bar stools with hand soap, teetee'd on the garage floor, and fed half a candy bar to the dog. This boy thing is tough to get used to. He wants to save his poop for daddy to see and he'd rather read a book about a fire truck 5 times a day than anything else in the world. He eats like a horse one day and a bird the next, gets dirty before I can even get his pajamas on him and asks for a lollipop at 7AM. One day last week, he nearly gave me a heart attack. I could NOT find him anywhere and Allison and I were running through the house screaming his name and crying and I even enlisted the help of my neighbor who was outside to look for him there. After what seemed like forever, he popped his head out from under the pillows on my bed and said "here I am mommy!" AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! As we were leaving the life center today he pointed out the hospital and I told him that's where they took him out of mommy's tummy. Without skipping a beat he said "I got hatched?" Yeah, maybe that's what's going on here, he got hatched. That boy loves his daddy like you would not believe and already has a heart for the Lord. He loves to sing, gets excited about going to church, and can even imitate our preacher. At least once a day he asks me if Papa is in Heaven with Jesus. It would be great if he would grow up to be an engineer like his dad, or maybe he'll be a business man like his Papa or a great tennis player like his Poppy. I have a feeling though that God is already building his resume'. Right now it reads, K-2 graduate, potty trained and skilled in matters of the heart seeking position as a man in God's Army. I just don't know what it is about that boy.

All I know is he's a gift. He is THE DESIRE OF MY HEART.