Life's not fair....

I wanted to move. I just wanted to be closer to my church. I decluttered my house, rented a storage unit for the junk and put my house on the market. Nothing. It's not gonna happen. Not now. The Knight and I both know the Lord has a reason for keeping us here. We are happy and at peace.

I made plans. It was going to be a worthwhile activity. It was going to be fun. I had already invited all my friends. But the Lord spoke to me very clearly and told me I had better things to do with my time. So I'm backing out. Sorry to disappoint. I feel somewhat relieved.

I'm finding out more and more everyday that life isn't about me. My wants are not necessarily what I need. My timetable does not matter. If things aren't turning out the way I want, there is a good reason. I've paced the floor, racked my brain and lost sleep. Even though time and energy is lost, hopes and dreams are postponed, doors are closed and prayers seem unanswered- God is still in control. He has answered my prayers. I got one "Not now. Maybe later" and one "No."

I get the feeling that something is in the works. Maybe a lesson in how to be satisfied with less, or maybe blooming where you are planted. And when I consult His word I get advice like- seek ye first the kingdom of God, or my ways are not your ways, or I know the plans I have for you, or fix your eyes on Jesus, or come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden.

So even when my plans aren't working out right, or when the economy is slow, or I want to join in something that could be a lot of fun -I must seek God first, I must realize that my ideas are not His ideas, that He has the plan for me that is good. I'm reminded again that I must look to Him as the author of my life and rest in the fact that life isn't fair, but God is good.

Fun in the Florida sun

We just got back home tonight after a spring break trip to visit my mom in Jacksonville. It was a fantastic time jam packed with fun-a day at the beach, a swim in my brother's pool, my nephew Chris' baseball game, a movie, some shopping and good food. I enjoyed catching up with Mom since we haven't been together since Christmas so I just enjoyed visiting with her. She is doing great, looks good and still has so much patience with the kids. They love being with their MiMi because she takes time to really listen and play with them. She always spoils us too with special desserts and yummy breakfasts. Jacksonville has changes SO much since I lived there. I have a hard time navigating the roads now and new shopping centers have grown up everywhere. I am amazed at how much traffic there is everywhere now compared to when I was growing up.

This is a picture of the sun setting behind my mom's house on the St.John's River. It was just beautiful!

What if...

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. Our whole weekend was packed with fun. It started out Friday with a fun trip to Gattitown with friends. Then that evening we dyed eggs and had an egg hunt with our neighbors. Saturday was our church Easter egg hunt. Saturday night we had Easter drama practice and then a get together with our middle school class at Jake's house. We had to get up Sunday morning at six to get to church in time for the drama and the pancake breakfast. Whew! By this time I was exhausted and ended up taking a two hour nap Saunday afternoon, which I never do.

Even with all the weekend's activities I tried to take time to really reflect on the good news of Easter. I tried to imagine what my life would be like had I not ever been introduced to Jesus. What if I had not been brought up in church hearing Bible stories all my life? What if my mom and dad had not been good Christian role models for me? What if I had not gotten back into church after my rebellious years at Clemson? What if that tomb had not been empty? What if, like some believe, Jesus had not come back from the dead?What if,like some believe, I had to work my way to Heaven? Oh, there are so many "what ifs" to consider. So I'll just stop here and say that I am some very thankful that I serve a risen savior. I don't have to be good enough to be there in Heaven someday. I don't have to do a certain number of things to make it in. All I had to do was accept the free gift He had to offer. The gift of forgiveness. The gift of love. The gift of salvation. For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16.

Hello friends! I know my blog is dwindling and I'm not even sure I'll be able to keep it up much longer. It seems that life has calmed down this year and my everyday activities are not so interesting to write about. I will probably continue on when I can with my focus being on God's work in our lives. I am sure I'll want to use it to keep up with the happenings in the lives of my children as well.
I've been super busy getting stuff ready for a girls-only lock-in at church tomorrow night. It is gonna be a rockin good time and I am really looking forward to it. Ask me again on Saturday and I may have a very different reply, but I love spending time with my church friends and this is sure to be memorable. We are having three different speakers, some songs, crafts, games, and then a movie and benadryl (just kidding). The theme is Jump for J.O.Y.-Jesus first then others before you. The idea is to build bonds between our Mile Creek girls and foster good Christian friendships and mentors.
The Little Man has finished up swimming lessons at the Y. He will be all ready for the pool this summer and maybe he'll start out with lots of confidence from the get-go. I took him by Sonic for a shake after class tonight and he said "This is so great Mom. I want to tell you I love you and go home and make you a card."
The girls are out of school tomorrow so they are still up watching a movie. They started a new drama camp with Christian Youth Theater in Anderson. So far they have really enjoyed it so we'll see what kind of budding actresses they will be. You know they have their uncle Scott who has the acting gene so they should have some natural ability! I mean other than the daily drama we see around here everyday.
I am praising the Lord for his goodness to our family and for always being faithful to us. I am so often overwhelmed by the busyness of life that I don't adequately thank him.
I am sure you feel the same way.

A black cloud day

It seems like so much sadness and sickness is hanging overhead right now. My aunt Carolyn passed away yesterday. She had been battling several different things and had not been well for awhile, but it still seems like the end came too quickly. It certainly brings back memories of losing Dad as I think about what my Uncle and cousins are going through right now. Aunt Carolyn was an avid reader of my blog and loved to forward inspirational or funny emails. She always remembered everyones birthday and sent cards to the kids. She loved her grandchildren and kept them as much as she could. She was the church organist for many years and loved fresh vegetables from the garden. I know she is in Heaven today and is enjoying renewed health and a brand new body. This is only goodbye for now.....

Just thinkin' bout Pop

I woke up this morning thinking about the last conversation I had with Dad. I only had a minute to tell him what a good daddy he had been, how much I loved him, and that I'd see him again in Heaven. Losing him has been by far the most difficult thing I've ever had to face. I miss him so much. Many times over the past year I have longed to talk to him, to get his advice or hear him laugh about the funny things the kids had said. Oftentimes he'd call to check on me in the afternoon, probably as a way to keep himself from falling asleep at his desk. I loved starting an argument with him just to have a good debate and I loved it when he was wrong about something. It's okay to say that because he loved to prove me wrong too. He had become more health conscious about his eating and had a routine of drinking a health shake in the morning, a sandwich from the convenience store for lunch and then a gigantic salad for dinner. The only snack he'd eat would be oranges and bananas. He enjoyed working, investing in the stock market, teaching the Bible, playing golf, watching the Fox News channel, sitting on the porch, and reading the paper. He could tell a great story, had a big heart, and prayed eloquently. He had an intense desire to provide for his family and a strong work ethic. He enjoyed going on trips with mom and got a thrill out of their trip to Africa. If he sensed that someone had a desire to improve their condition, he was more than willing to help. He always told us to get a good education and to take care of our teeth. He loved living on the river and liked to sit and watch a storm come in on the water. He had a way with people- developed over many years of visiting service stations and convenience stores. He knew nothing about the kitchen and once cooked a hot dog in the microwave for four minutes. He covered his bald head with a comb-over for years and would always have it shaded from the sun in a hat. He snored terribly and kept me lying awake many times in a hotel room thinking to myself "Never again!" He just gave off an air of authority and respect, yet was down to earth and easy to talk to. He played basketball in high school and graduated from the University of Arkansas. He loved his baby girl and she loved him back. My heart is sad today, but I am very sure Pop enjoyed his first year in Heaven.

Hello March!

So the Fern5 is doing the pink eye thing--three down and two to go. Hope we have enough drops for all of us. I am so bummed about the prospect of snow. We went to the mall this past weekend as part of Zoey's 7th birthday celebration and to get her ears pierced. They had out all their shorts and bathing suits and I thought "If I buy some of this will the weather warm up?" Maybe it won't snow, but I do remember that we had snow this time last year. So, we'll just have to wait and see.

So many people we know have sinus junk or viruses of some sort. It seems like we haven't been able to follow through with many of our plans lately because someone isn't feeling feeling well. When the weather warms up I'm going to lunch with all my friends and having everyone I know over for a cookout. That sounds great, huh?

I've been thinking a lot about trusting God and what that really means. I think most of us would say that we trust Him, but then what are we really trusting Him for? The Knight and I are praying about something that will really be taking a big step of faith and trusting God. Will you say a prayer right now that God will give us wisdom concerning this?

Mom is still in Arkansas but is planning to return to Jacksonville the 9th. Can you believe the 5th will be one year since Dad died? We were talking the other day about the difference between joy and happiness. Happiness depends on your circumstances. Real joy is only possible through obedience to Christ. I hate to think that some people do not know what it is to have real joy. Even though there ahve been times of sickness and sadness this past year, we can still say we had joy. And for that I am so very thankful...