Mango made me miss him

Greetings from down under! I have missed writing this week, but I didn't want to invite you to my pity party. I thought last week was rough, what with a visit to the ER and then a colonoscopy, but this week has really been the pits. I knew this year Father's day would be hard, but I really didn't know it would be like this. You know, because dad lived in Florida and I didn't get to see him that often anyway, it's kind of like I could just put it out of my mind at times that he is gone. Unlike Mom and Mike, I don't have to deal with it everyday. But this week everywhere I looked, everything on tv and the radio has all been about fathers. Tuesday as I was rushing around trying to get a present in the mail for my dear father-in-law, it just hurt so bad that I didn't need to run into Belk and pick up a new golf shirt for Pop. That's what sent me into a downward spiral. One night this week my heart ached so bad I couldn't sleep. This is the first time I have ever had this feeling, experienced this kind of hurt. It's pretty selfish I guess. I'm not crying for him, I'm crying for me. I miss him so much. I'd love to tell him one more time what a good daddy he was, how much I appreciated all that he did for me. I wish I could pick up the phone and hear him say "Hey Shug" or see the kids sitting on his lap. Even the little things this week have reminded me of dad. The mango flavored italian ice made me think of him because he ate mango sherbert after supper most nights. One of the men from my oncology rehab is in the gasoline business and talking to him this week made me feel sad. He even had lung cancer. I could go on, but I'll stop. Bottom line is-I miss my dad terribly. I'm on the upswing now. Party's over. I'm Just trying not to think about it and staying busy.
I've been thinking a lot about a verse my middle school class has memorized-Isaiah 41:10- Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. I just keep thinking about God upholding me and I feel stronger.
If you've still got your dad, be thankful.