Love to laugh

You don't really know your kid until you eat lunch with them at school. Allison forgot her science project at home Friday so I took it to her school at lunchtime. I decided to sit with her and visit since I haven't done that at all this year. Shame, I know. So the first thing I noticed was that she was drinking milk. Chocloate milk, but MILK. She hasn't had milk at home since she was two. The second thing I noticed was that she was eating peaches. I could not pay her to eat peaches at home. The third thing I noticed was that she is just like me. She loves to make her friends laugh. Her cute little friends all told me about the funny things she does like make grape kabobs with her straw and how she flung a piece of cake across the lunchroom "accidentally" and it landed in someones hair. Oh they just went on and on all the while Allison was just beaming with pride.

Lots of peole say she is my "mini me" even though I rarely realize it. She loves school supplies and even cried a little tonight because she wanted to run by Staples and get some tabs to organize her notebook. I found some Vera Bradley pencil cases marked half-price so I bought her one for making a good grade on her PASS word test finally. You should have seen how happy that made her. She loves crafts and enjoys helping me with whatever project I'm working on. She's taking gymnastics and piano, the two things I was doing at that age.

But seeing her at that lunch table enjoying her success at making people laugh was a revalation for me. It brought me back to late elementary school when I was a blossoming poet. I loved to take whatever topic we were studying and whatever writing assignment we had and turn it into a poem of sorts.
I even wrote a poem to nominate my teacher for an award. "She's my teacher, she's my friend. She's the best there's ever been. Her caring, sharing and her love, goes out, around and above."

Then there was the one I wrote about letting my pet turtle "Tot" go back into the creek from whence he came. "Letting my turtle go was really hard for me. Watching him swim into the wild and wonderous sea." Yes, I can remember that from fifth grade, but don't ask me anything about high school, because I don't remember it much at all. Strange, isn't it? I sometimes wonder if chemo wiped those memories out. Anyway, I have always loved to write and I love to make people laugh.

My friend Trina was the friend I remember laughing with the most in school. We had nicknames for each other and talked in funny voices that just really cracked us up. And Hill was my friend who made me laugh like crazy on the bus. Then there was Louie who made me laugh in college. We'd hang out on the bench at his house and act out funny lines from movies and sing very loudly. Then there was my friend Carmen who made me laugh through the later years of college. She took me to my chemo treatments and we would laugh until we were in tears. While all the other "Big C" patients looked on and wondered what could possibly be so funny at the Cancer Center of the Carolinas, we were having a great time.

Now I guess the person I laugh with the most would be my brother Mike. He calls me routinely while he's walking the dog and I'm waiting in the car line to pick up the Little Man. We've laughed a lot over the years, but most recently our laughter has become like therapy. Stress has been a theme for us this past year and laughter as you know helps alleviate that. He was the one who took Dad to his doctor appointments and then radiation and watched him grow weaker each day. He took it pretty hard when I was diagnosed with cancer, but then his wife was diagnosed the same year and went through a mastectomy as well. So now we make jokes about our overweight dogs and current events. We laugh a lot about Obama and our Mama. Other than the Knight I guess he's the one person who knows exactly what I will find funny and he'll even make a note to himself to tell me about something funny that he heard or saw. It's almost like we can take our history and our heartaches and wrap them together and make each other laugh like nobody else can. He "gets me" and I appreciate that. Laughter really is good medicine.

All is well with the Fern5. I had some catching up to do this week after being sick a few days last week. I am still so behind on laundry I considered loading it all in the van and taking it to the laundry mat and doing it all at the same time. It's to the point now where I have piles all over the place because the hamper is too full. I don't know where the times goes. That's such a cliche I know, but it's true. My daily routine looks like this-(Not that you're interested, I'm just validating my lack of housekeeping here people, so humor me.) Get the girls up, ready and out the door by 7:30. Home, shower, breakfast and out the door with the Little Man by 8:45. Run errands or Bible Study or home to put away groceries and then pick up Little Man by 12. Lunch, read books, play, try to get LM to take nap. Pick up girls at bus stop at 2:50. Try to the LM to take a nap. Homework, play, cook supper. Bath, books, bed. Then I'm on the phone, computer, or watching tv or doing my Bible study until bed time. See what I mean. Did you see any time in there for laundry? No, me neither.

We are thrilled that the weather has gotten warmer. Went for a bike ride today and it was so nice outside. The Little Man complained the whole time because he wanted to be at home playing in the sandbox. Yesterday I walked Woody and he drove his Arctic Cat to the bus stop. The girls were happy to see him and they loaded their backpacks into the trunk and made him take them home. They skipped and sang and soaked up the sun and he cried the whole way. See why I try to get him to nap?

So David is living with the consequences of his sin and I am so sad. I'm sad for his family who had to suffer and I'm sad that a good man was brought down hard by sin. I'm sad that a man after God's own heart made some bad choices that changed not only his life, but his entire family's life forever. Godly people do unGodly things every day. No one is immune. I had a friend who made some poor choices and most people who knew her just got mad and stopped being her friend. I never understood that. I know I'm vulnerable to the devils tricks because he tries them on me everyday. Discouragement is his number one tactic with me. I hear "Why do you even try?" and "What makes you think YOU are capable of this?" "There's really no point in what you are doing so why not let someone else who is smarter/thinner/better/holier/neater/nicer/etc. do it?" He stands outside my door everyday disguising his voice to try and get me to let him in. So the days when I haven't been praying and reading my Bible or maybe even when I'm just tired and frustrated, I may just fall for it and open up the door just a bit and peek out. As soon as I do it's like he jams his foot inside and forces himself in. Then we usually go at it for the rest of the day. Fern vs. Satan. Check it out on youtube. And before you know it I'm talking ugly to my children, being a grouch to the Knight, gossiping on the phone, and feeling like a fat failure. So I have learned that I can't even allow myself to listen. My mind has to be on God's word. I must stay focused on the One who saved me from my sin and set my feet on higher ground. I have to call on His name a thousand times a day. My eyes have to look upward. Because I'm David. And so are you. God chose me and anointed me, not to be king over all Israel someday, but to be a light in my community and a Godly mother and a wife and a Middle School Sunday School teacher. I'm vulnerable to sin, not because I'm hanging out like a peeping tom on some rooftop, but because I'm a woman after God's own heart and the devil hates me. And if you love God he hates you too. So be ready my friend. Don't even open the door.

Valentines

I just finished up doing valentines for Zoey and the Little Man. He of course is too little to do his own and Zoey, well, it just hurt her hand too much to write out all those names. I think eating some of that candy may cause me to have a relapse of the stomach bug I've had this week. I have zero will power when it comes to candy. Zero. But this girl doesn't need any so if you were planning to shower me with chocolates this year, Hon, don't do it please. You could take me out to Capri's for some toasted ravioli, though.

Anyway, just wanted to update you on David. I just love that guy. He was the apple of God's eye and worked so hard to please him and then WHAM. One afternoon he let himself give into lust and then he just spiraled downward just like something you'd see in a soap opera. I guess it's because of David that I try not to be too hard on people who make mistakes. Murderers aside. But I can see that people can get themselves in a fix and then wind up making everything worse when they try to hide what they've done. I am so glad God doesn't give up on us though and He forgives us and allows us to start over. David is a perfect example God's mercy. He did have to suffer the painful consequences of his mistakes, but God continued to love him. The best thing to do is to always be where you are supposed to be with God, walking closely, maintaining a relationship with him through prayer and His word. Otherwise, you could find yourself in a soap opera too.

As I mentioned earlier, the stomach bug visited here this week so things got a little off course when the Mama Bear was out. Last weekend we had a great time snowtubing with our middle school kids from church. It was SO cold though and although my boots were very cute, they did not keep my feet warm whatsoever. Not a good trade off there I must say. Those kids were so well-behaved and so fun to be with and even this old woman went down the hill a few times.

Lots more to write about but I must go. Hope all is well with you!

February 3rd

February 3rd. February 3rd. February 3rd. A day that will forever be ingrained in my memory. I cannot let this day go by without taking time to remember where I was one year ago. Time has passed so quickly even though some days were the longest of my life. I spent the majority of this past year recovering from some sort of surgery and I still stick by my excuse that three times under anesthesia in one year depleted far too many of my brain cells. I had body parts removed and organs extracted. I was expanded and implanted. I was reconstructed and even flattened. What a year!

On this same day one year ago, doctors at the Mayo Clinic confirmed that my dad did indeed have inoperable lung cancer. I am still unsure why these two things happened on the same day. I remember writing in my blog back then that the day the doctors took my cancer away was the day the doctors discovered cancer in Dad. That just never has set well with me. Was that some sort of exchange? A bargain? I just can't let myself even go there. Oh Pop, I miss you so.

So as I look back and recount the events of February 3rd, 2009, I can say that "in God I trust." I believe now more than ever that He knows what is best and that he can not only turn bad things around and use them for His glory, but He can mend broken hearts and heal diseased bodies. He, and only He, decides who lives and who dies. I feel blessed today that God has given me more life here on Earth as well as a promise of life with Him for eternity. I feel blessed that my Dad had a wonderful life here on Earth and is now getting to spend forever in Heaven with our Heavenly Father. And one day, perhaps not too many years from now, I'm going to get to see them both. Perhaps it'll be on a February 3rd.

Why Me?

David. I love to study David. You know God called him a man after his own heart. I wonder if God sees me as a woman who is after his own heart? I'm certainly no where near the same level as David in any manner of speaking, but I do want to know God's will for my life and I do want to please him. That's what has been on my heart these last few days. The first time I was diagnosed with cancer I cried out to God "Why me? Why do I have to go through this? What did I do to deserve this terrible punishment of radiation and chemotherapy?" This time I cried out the same thing"Why me Lord?" But this time I was thinking in terms of "Why did you see me as worthy of this calling? Who am I to be your representative of your grace and your mercy? Can I really do what I know you are needing me to do?"

In my Bible study this week the verse that spoke to me was when David cried out, "Who am I, O Lord God? and what is my house, that thou hast brought me hitherto?" (IISam.7:18) I feel this same way. Who am I and who is my family that you would see fit to bring us this far? I am nobody. My family is so undeserving. We don't have any royalty in our lineage. We have no reality show. Yet you chose me, handpicked me to be your child. You brought me and my family through sickness, death, heartache, disappointment and pulled us out of the pit over and over again. I ignored you as a teenager, abandoned you when I left for college, denied you in front of a friend, blamed you for my sickness. Yet you patiently waited for me. Your Holy Spirit never stopped tugging on my heart. You never gave up on me. You had the plan. You knew what it would take to get me back in your will. You brought me to a little church in Six Mile. You found me a mate to support me. You blessed my life with children. You healed me once a gain. You brought me THIS FAR! Why me?

Lord, please help me to do what you have called me to do. Only through you can I be what you have called me to be. Thank you for choosing me and bringing me this far. Thank you for being all I need and for never giving up. Amen

Snow tubing has been postponed due to the weather. I have been on pins and needles trying to decide if we should take our awesome middle school class to Scaly Mountain today for a fun day of tubing, but early this morning we decided not to go. The middle schoolers are disappointed and so are we. Our kids were so hyped up they could not sleep last night. So here we are with a free Saturday and I am considering staying in my pajamas. It looks like I'll have to do laundry all day to keep up with the kids playing outside in the little bit of snow we got.

So maybe I'll use this free day to catch up on my blogging.

The Little Man has managed to keep foreign objects out of his ears this week. But this is what I saw when I went in my bathroom one afternoon this week! Isn't that nice? I left it for the Knight to take care of when he got home.

It's a good thing I had bought the 30 big rolls earlier!

You know how I love crafts. My friend Andrea made the cutest thing for me and I wanted to share it with you. I think she is so creative and I would love to just spend a week with her sharing ideas, shopping, and making cool stuff.

She took an old window and made it into a work of art where we can write messages, put prayer requests and hang stuff. I LOVE it and I am waiting for the Knight to hang it on the wall across from our cubbies.

This the Fern5 in case you haven't seen us in awhile!

Charleston

The Knight and I are absolutely enjoying our time away with nothing planned and no time schedule. Nana and Poppy are staying with the munchkins so that we can have a little much-needed time to ourselves. It's been a long time since we went out of town without children so it takes a minute to get used to. I think the last time may have been when we went to St. Augustine to celebrate our 10th anniversary-which was before the Little Man was even born. We had to drive in the rain yesterday but even that was peaceful.

Last night we ate Hyman's seafood which is Southern Living Magazine's pick for best seafood restaurant in the southeast. I had the #2 customer favorite - two grit cakes topped with shrimp in a garlic Alfredo sauce. It was so fabulous could have licked my plate. The Knight went with a safe choice of the fried shrimp and he was very pleased as well. We are staying at the King Charles Inn which is in the middle of town and only a few doors down from Hymans.

We slept until 9:00(!!!!) this morning and went for a drive around town to get acclimated. Then we spent the better part of the day walking the streets and shopping. I keep telling him how much fun I am having. I am so happy just to be with him and enjoy this beautiful city. We are having a local artisan design a sign for us with our name on it so I will be sure to post a picture here soon. I love to look in the art galleries and wander the alleyways and of course my all-time favorite thing-people watch. We ended up in the middle of the College of Charleston campus(if there is such a thing. I'm confused about that school, aren't you?)earlier today and I got a kick out of watching all the students on their way to class. Two observations I made-nobody was smoking (yay!) and boots are very fashionable. Oh and if you have on a short ruffly skirt and are wearing a backpack, it can be very dangerous AND drafty.

So now we are back in our lovely room lying around resting. Pete's been on Craig's list looking up parts for the Wagoneer and I have been downloading pictures and checking email. I can hear him over there snoring a little now and I can't help but think how blessed I am. I love being with my children of course, but it IS nice to get away once in awhile, get reaquainted, remember what silence is like, take a nap, and go to the restroom alone. So far 2010 has been wonderful!