Hello friends! I know my blog is dwindling and I'm not even sure I'll be able to keep it up much longer. It seems that life has calmed down this year and my everyday activities are not so interesting to write about. I will probably continue on when I can with my focus being on God's work in our lives. I am sure I'll want to use it to keep up with the happenings in the lives of my children as well.
I've been super busy getting stuff ready for a girls-only lock-in at church tomorrow night. It is gonna be a rockin good time and I am really looking forward to it. Ask me again on Saturday and I may have a very different reply, but I love spending time with my church friends and this is sure to be memorable. We are having three different speakers, some songs, crafts, games, and then a movie and benadryl (just kidding). The theme is Jump for J.O.Y.-Jesus first then others before you. The idea is to build bonds between our Mile Creek girls and foster good Christian friendships and mentors.
The Little Man has finished up swimming lessons at the Y. He will be all ready for the pool this summer and maybe he'll start out with lots of confidence from the get-go. I took him by Sonic for a shake after class tonight and he said "This is so great Mom. I want to tell you I love you and go home and make you a card."
The girls are out of school tomorrow so they are still up watching a movie. They started a new drama camp with Christian Youth Theater in Anderson. So far they have really enjoyed it so we'll see what kind of budding actresses they will be. You know they have their uncle Scott who has the acting gene so they should have some natural ability! I mean other than the daily drama we see around here everyday.
I am praising the Lord for his goodness to our family and for always being faithful to us. I am so often overwhelmed by the busyness of life that I don't adequately thank him.
I am sure you feel the same way.

A black cloud day

It seems like so much sadness and sickness is hanging overhead right now. My aunt Carolyn passed away yesterday. She had been battling several different things and had not been well for awhile, but it still seems like the end came too quickly. It certainly brings back memories of losing Dad as I think about what my Uncle and cousins are going through right now. Aunt Carolyn was an avid reader of my blog and loved to forward inspirational or funny emails. She always remembered everyones birthday and sent cards to the kids. She loved her grandchildren and kept them as much as she could. She was the church organist for many years and loved fresh vegetables from the garden. I know she is in Heaven today and is enjoying renewed health and a brand new body. This is only goodbye for now.....

Just thinkin' bout Pop

I woke up this morning thinking about the last conversation I had with Dad. I only had a minute to tell him what a good daddy he had been, how much I loved him, and that I'd see him again in Heaven. Losing him has been by far the most difficult thing I've ever had to face. I miss him so much. Many times over the past year I have longed to talk to him, to get his advice or hear him laugh about the funny things the kids had said. Oftentimes he'd call to check on me in the afternoon, probably as a way to keep himself from falling asleep at his desk. I loved starting an argument with him just to have a good debate and I loved it when he was wrong about something. It's okay to say that because he loved to prove me wrong too. He had become more health conscious about his eating and had a routine of drinking a health shake in the morning, a sandwich from the convenience store for lunch and then a gigantic salad for dinner. The only snack he'd eat would be oranges and bananas. He enjoyed working, investing in the stock market, teaching the Bible, playing golf, watching the Fox News channel, sitting on the porch, and reading the paper. He could tell a great story, had a big heart, and prayed eloquently. He had an intense desire to provide for his family and a strong work ethic. He enjoyed going on trips with mom and got a thrill out of their trip to Africa. If he sensed that someone had a desire to improve their condition, he was more than willing to help. He always told us to get a good education and to take care of our teeth. He loved living on the river and liked to sit and watch a storm come in on the water. He had a way with people- developed over many years of visiting service stations and convenience stores. He knew nothing about the kitchen and once cooked a hot dog in the microwave for four minutes. He covered his bald head with a comb-over for years and would always have it shaded from the sun in a hat. He snored terribly and kept me lying awake many times in a hotel room thinking to myself "Never again!" He just gave off an air of authority and respect, yet was down to earth and easy to talk to. He played basketball in high school and graduated from the University of Arkansas. He loved his baby girl and she loved him back. My heart is sad today, but I am very sure Pop enjoyed his first year in Heaven.

Hello March!

So the Fern5 is doing the pink eye thing--three down and two to go. Hope we have enough drops for all of us. I am so bummed about the prospect of snow. We went to the mall this past weekend as part of Zoey's 7th birthday celebration and to get her ears pierced. They had out all their shorts and bathing suits and I thought "If I buy some of this will the weather warm up?" Maybe it won't snow, but I do remember that we had snow this time last year. So, we'll just have to wait and see.

So many people we know have sinus junk or viruses of some sort. It seems like we haven't been able to follow through with many of our plans lately because someone isn't feeling feeling well. When the weather warms up I'm going to lunch with all my friends and having everyone I know over for a cookout. That sounds great, huh?

I've been thinking a lot about trusting God and what that really means. I think most of us would say that we trust Him, but then what are we really trusting Him for? The Knight and I are praying about something that will really be taking a big step of faith and trusting God. Will you say a prayer right now that God will give us wisdom concerning this?

Mom is still in Arkansas but is planning to return to Jacksonville the 9th. Can you believe the 5th will be one year since Dad died? We were talking the other day about the difference between joy and happiness. Happiness depends on your circumstances. Real joy is only possible through obedience to Christ. I hate to think that some people do not know what it is to have real joy. Even though there ahve been times of sickness and sadness this past year, we can still say we had joy. And for that I am so very thankful...

Love to laugh

You don't really know your kid until you eat lunch with them at school. Allison forgot her science project at home Friday so I took it to her school at lunchtime. I decided to sit with her and visit since I haven't done that at all this year. Shame, I know. So the first thing I noticed was that she was drinking milk. Chocloate milk, but MILK. She hasn't had milk at home since she was two. The second thing I noticed was that she was eating peaches. I could not pay her to eat peaches at home. The third thing I noticed was that she is just like me. She loves to make her friends laugh. Her cute little friends all told me about the funny things she does like make grape kabobs with her straw and how she flung a piece of cake across the lunchroom "accidentally" and it landed in someones hair. Oh they just went on and on all the while Allison was just beaming with pride.

Lots of peole say she is my "mini me" even though I rarely realize it. She loves school supplies and even cried a little tonight because she wanted to run by Staples and get some tabs to organize her notebook. I found some Vera Bradley pencil cases marked half-price so I bought her one for making a good grade on her PASS word test finally. You should have seen how happy that made her. She loves crafts and enjoys helping me with whatever project I'm working on. She's taking gymnastics and piano, the two things I was doing at that age.

But seeing her at that lunch table enjoying her success at making people laugh was a revalation for me. It brought me back to late elementary school when I was a blossoming poet. I loved to take whatever topic we were studying and whatever writing assignment we had and turn it into a poem of sorts.
I even wrote a poem to nominate my teacher for an award. "She's my teacher, she's my friend. She's the best there's ever been. Her caring, sharing and her love, goes out, around and above."

Then there was the one I wrote about letting my pet turtle "Tot" go back into the creek from whence he came. "Letting my turtle go was really hard for me. Watching him swim into the wild and wonderous sea." Yes, I can remember that from fifth grade, but don't ask me anything about high school, because I don't remember it much at all. Strange, isn't it? I sometimes wonder if chemo wiped those memories out. Anyway, I have always loved to write and I love to make people laugh.

My friend Trina was the friend I remember laughing with the most in school. We had nicknames for each other and talked in funny voices that just really cracked us up. And Hill was my friend who made me laugh like crazy on the bus. Then there was Louie who made me laugh in college. We'd hang out on the bench at his house and act out funny lines from movies and sing very loudly. Then there was my friend Carmen who made me laugh through the later years of college. She took me to my chemo treatments and we would laugh until we were in tears. While all the other "Big C" patients looked on and wondered what could possibly be so funny at the Cancer Center of the Carolinas, we were having a great time.

Now I guess the person I laugh with the most would be my brother Mike. He calls me routinely while he's walking the dog and I'm waiting in the car line to pick up the Little Man. We've laughed a lot over the years, but most recently our laughter has become like therapy. Stress has been a theme for us this past year and laughter as you know helps alleviate that. He was the one who took Dad to his doctor appointments and then radiation and watched him grow weaker each day. He took it pretty hard when I was diagnosed with cancer, but then his wife was diagnosed the same year and went through a mastectomy as well. So now we make jokes about our overweight dogs and current events. We laugh a lot about Obama and our Mama. Other than the Knight I guess he's the one person who knows exactly what I will find funny and he'll even make a note to himself to tell me about something funny that he heard or saw. It's almost like we can take our history and our heartaches and wrap them together and make each other laugh like nobody else can. He "gets me" and I appreciate that. Laughter really is good medicine.

All is well with the Fern5. I had some catching up to do this week after being sick a few days last week. I am still so behind on laundry I considered loading it all in the van and taking it to the laundry mat and doing it all at the same time. It's to the point now where I have piles all over the place because the hamper is too full. I don't know where the times goes. That's such a cliche I know, but it's true. My daily routine looks like this-(Not that you're interested, I'm just validating my lack of housekeeping here people, so humor me.) Get the girls up, ready and out the door by 7:30. Home, shower, breakfast and out the door with the Little Man by 8:45. Run errands or Bible Study or home to put away groceries and then pick up Little Man by 12. Lunch, read books, play, try to get LM to take nap. Pick up girls at bus stop at 2:50. Try to the LM to take a nap. Homework, play, cook supper. Bath, books, bed. Then I'm on the phone, computer, or watching tv or doing my Bible study until bed time. See what I mean. Did you see any time in there for laundry? No, me neither.

We are thrilled that the weather has gotten warmer. Went for a bike ride today and it was so nice outside. The Little Man complained the whole time because he wanted to be at home playing in the sandbox. Yesterday I walked Woody and he drove his Arctic Cat to the bus stop. The girls were happy to see him and they loaded their backpacks into the trunk and made him take them home. They skipped and sang and soaked up the sun and he cried the whole way. See why I try to get him to nap?

So David is living with the consequences of his sin and I am so sad. I'm sad for his family who had to suffer and I'm sad that a good man was brought down hard by sin. I'm sad that a man after God's own heart made some bad choices that changed not only his life, but his entire family's life forever. Godly people do unGodly things every day. No one is immune. I had a friend who made some poor choices and most people who knew her just got mad and stopped being her friend. I never understood that. I know I'm vulnerable to the devils tricks because he tries them on me everyday. Discouragement is his number one tactic with me. I hear "Why do you even try?" and "What makes you think YOU are capable of this?" "There's really no point in what you are doing so why not let someone else who is smarter/thinner/better/holier/neater/nicer/etc. do it?" He stands outside my door everyday disguising his voice to try and get me to let him in. So the days when I haven't been praying and reading my Bible or maybe even when I'm just tired and frustrated, I may just fall for it and open up the door just a bit and peek out. As soon as I do it's like he jams his foot inside and forces himself in. Then we usually go at it for the rest of the day. Fern vs. Satan. Check it out on youtube. And before you know it I'm talking ugly to my children, being a grouch to the Knight, gossiping on the phone, and feeling like a fat failure. So I have learned that I can't even allow myself to listen. My mind has to be on God's word. I must stay focused on the One who saved me from my sin and set my feet on higher ground. I have to call on His name a thousand times a day. My eyes have to look upward. Because I'm David. And so are you. God chose me and anointed me, not to be king over all Israel someday, but to be a light in my community and a Godly mother and a wife and a Middle School Sunday School teacher. I'm vulnerable to sin, not because I'm hanging out like a peeping tom on some rooftop, but because I'm a woman after God's own heart and the devil hates me. And if you love God he hates you too. So be ready my friend. Don't even open the door.

Valentines

I just finished up doing valentines for Zoey and the Little Man. He of course is too little to do his own and Zoey, well, it just hurt her hand too much to write out all those names. I think eating some of that candy may cause me to have a relapse of the stomach bug I've had this week. I have zero will power when it comes to candy. Zero. But this girl doesn't need any so if you were planning to shower me with chocolates this year, Hon, don't do it please. You could take me out to Capri's for some toasted ravioli, though.

Anyway, just wanted to update you on David. I just love that guy. He was the apple of God's eye and worked so hard to please him and then WHAM. One afternoon he let himself give into lust and then he just spiraled downward just like something you'd see in a soap opera. I guess it's because of David that I try not to be too hard on people who make mistakes. Murderers aside. But I can see that people can get themselves in a fix and then wind up making everything worse when they try to hide what they've done. I am so glad God doesn't give up on us though and He forgives us and allows us to start over. David is a perfect example God's mercy. He did have to suffer the painful consequences of his mistakes, but God continued to love him. The best thing to do is to always be where you are supposed to be with God, walking closely, maintaining a relationship with him through prayer and His word. Otherwise, you could find yourself in a soap opera too.

As I mentioned earlier, the stomach bug visited here this week so things got a little off course when the Mama Bear was out. Last weekend we had a great time snowtubing with our middle school kids from church. It was SO cold though and although my boots were very cute, they did not keep my feet warm whatsoever. Not a good trade off there I must say. Those kids were so well-behaved and so fun to be with and even this old woman went down the hill a few times.

Lots more to write about but I must go. Hope all is well with you!