Fight Like a Girl

I'm wishing I had gotten up a team for the local "Relay for Life". Time slipped up on me and now it's too late for me to get it together. But let's plan on it next year, okay? We'll hang out all night and laugh and EAT. Maybe walk a little. I decided to try to sell a few t-shirts to benefit the American Cancer Society. So if you'd like to order a shirt, either email me or write me in the comments. They are $10 and come in sizes Youth small through Adult 3XL. I know most of my friends here already have one, but some of my far away friends and family may not. I'd be happy to mail it to you.

Have a great day!

Cutest salad ever

Feast your eyes on last nights VOD-

Have you ever seen such a cute little salad?

Don't you adore those little lime green bowls?

Can't you just feel the love?

Apparently not.......

Oh boy...

So after my chemo and radiation treatments were over in July 1994, I met The Knight that following February and we got married in December. My doctor recommended I wait 5 years after treatment to become pregnant. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and left us with thoughts that we may not be able to have children at all. So when Allison Grace was born in 2000, we thanked the Lord for His gift to us. She was an easy-going baby and such a delight. She smiled easily and went willingly to anyone who wanted to hold her. The Knight and I felt so blessed. I had not planned to be a stay-at-home mom because I knew that my job as a middle school guidance counselor was the best job possible for a mom's schedule. I loved my job, but the Lord started to change my heart and I began wishing I could be at home with her. I felt like I was leaving my child in the care of someone else while I went to take care of someone else's child. Almost 2 1/2 years later, Zoey Grace was born and we again felt like our cup was running over. She stole our heart and blended right into our routine. Two precious little girls were enough to keep us quite busy and I was enjoying staying at home. We pretty much decided that 2 was enough. But when Zoey was around 18 months old I got the baby bug again, but that would go away as soon as the girls started to misbehave or I had a crazy-busy day wrangling the two of them. I started to gradually give away my baby stuff. But there just seemed to be something missing from our family. I just kept thinking that there would be another chapter to our book. So after much thought, late night discussions and prayer, we decided to try for a third. When I became pregnant we were thrilled but scared to death. I was afraid we were setting ourselves up for a life filled with stress and financial strain. AND the idea of possibly having three teenage girls one day was mind boggling. Our friends and family were a little surprised at the news and we decided early on that we would not find out the baby's sex. I always enjoyed being pregnant and the third time was probably the best-even though I WAS 37. I started to pray that the baby would be a boy. I claimed Psalm 37:4 -Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. I would ask God to do it for the Knight. I felt like he was such a good man and he was so faithful to God and a good servant of the church, I mean a guy like him-so smart and handy and athletic and humble and knightly, you know, really needed a boy to pass down all those genes. But after a few days of praying for a boy, I'd start to feel guilty and think "How can I pray for a boy when I really just need to pray that the child will be healthy. How can I be so shallow?" But after awhile I'd go back to asking God to give us a boy, a man-child, a namesake. Much like Hannah from the Bible did, I told God that if He would give us a boy, I would give him back to him for whatever he wanted or needed him to be. There was so much excitement surrounding not knowing the baby's sex. So many strangers would see us out with two big bow wearing little girls and ask me what we were having. Even my mother-in-law thought we knew, but weren't telling. I just tried to tell myself that God would give us just what our family needed. I would not allow myself to be disappointed in anything God gave us. I had to be scheduled for a c-section because at my last ultrasound they estimated the baby's weight at 12 pounds. Everyone was so excited! First about the sex and then about the weight. Being the practical, mathematical sort, The Knight was constantly saying to me "You know, statistically the chances that this baby will be a boy are..." but I would cut him off with a harsh look and a jab. So when that doctor pulled out that baby and handed him over to his daddy, he held him high into the air, just like the scene from The Lion King, and said "It's a BOY!!!" Tears of joy and disbelief overcame us. How could this be? How could we be so blessed with another healthy child to raise for the glory of God? I thought in my heart, this baby belongs to God. In the mean time, though, I am wearing myself ragged chasing him, keeping him out of stuff, and off of furniture. Just keeping him inside the house lately has been a challenge. Just today he washed down my bar stools with hand soap, teetee'd on the garage floor, and fed half a candy bar to the dog. This boy thing is tough to get used to. He wants to save his poop for daddy to see and he'd rather read a book about a fire truck 5 times a day than anything else in the world. He eats like a horse one day and a bird the next, gets dirty before I can even get his pajamas on him and asks for a lollipop at 7AM. One day last week, he nearly gave me a heart attack. I could NOT find him anywhere and Allison and I were running through the house screaming his name and crying and I even enlisted the help of my neighbor who was outside to look for him there. After what seemed like forever, he popped his head out from under the pillows on my bed and said "here I am mommy!" AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! As we were leaving the life center today he pointed out the hospital and I told him that's where they took him out of mommy's tummy. Without skipping a beat he said "I got hatched?" Yeah, maybe that's what's going on here, he got hatched. That boy loves his daddy like you would not believe and already has a heart for the Lord. He loves to sing, gets excited about going to church, and can even imitate our preacher. At least once a day he asks me if Papa is in Heaven with Jesus. It would be great if he would grow up to be an engineer like his dad, or maybe he'll be a business man like his Papa or a great tennis player like his Poppy. I have a feeling though that God is already building his resume'. Right now it reads, K-2 graduate, potty trained and skilled in matters of the heart seeking position as a man in God's Army. I just don't know what it is about that boy.

All I know is he's a gift. He is THE DESIRE OF MY HEART.

Vegetable of the Day

Okay, I know you are all dying to know how the healthy lifestyle is working out. Well, as a matter of fact, I couldn't wait for the kids to go to bed so I could tell you about tonight's dinner success (read with heavy sarcasm and eye roll).
I had a busy day-
breakfast
dropped off girls at 8
home shower dress
dropped off boy at 9
grocery store
Lowe's
home, eat, phone call
workout 1 hour at Life Center
"stress" workshop 1 hour-hahahahaha-didn't need no stinking stress workshop
picked up girls
picked up boy
Sonic (slushes for kids)
piano lesson
home

Threw together a fantastic meal consisting of Greek chicken, pasta, salad, fresh fruit and the VOD-asparagus(YUM!!!) Your choice of cheese sauce or ranch. One tiny spear was all that was required. The motivation for clearing your plate-vanilla ice cream (frozen sugar free yogurt, shhh!) The meal overall was very tasty-the chicken was excellent.

So all 4 of them decided to eat the dreaded asparagus at the same time. Daddy's idea. He's as bad as the kids you know. Woody is sitting nearby, watching for a crumb to fall. Two plain, one cheese sauce, one ranch. The Knight chewed with his mouth open,but it went down. The Little man put it into his mouth and promply took it from his tongue-"Me no like dat." Allison chews, she swallows, she gags, she spits it out. Zoey chews, chews, chews, coughs, and loses it. Back on her plate. I sit, staring in utter amazement. Why is this so hard? What is the big deal? It was tiny. They had the option to drown it with a condiment of their choice. So I'm frustrated, mad, STRESSED...the next thing I know, Woody goes behind the couch and throws up.

I'm not believing this.....

Not gonna "die" it

So I am starting a campaign to get healthy. I do not have the time, the money or a staff so I will have to do the best I know how. I refuse to diet. I am not going to count fat grams, calories or take a special pill. I have to make real life changes that I can manage in real life. Dieting makes me miserable. Worrying about food is not on my list of things to do. My goal is not to be skinny. I'll never be HOT- except from the occasional hot flash. I just want to live a long time and be happy and healthy. I just want to be a girl God can use.

My plan is to add healthier food to our menu- more fiber, less sugar, better snacks, VEGGIES. I want to eliminate some bad habits-late night snacking, eating the kids leftovers, too much fast food, etc. I want to get active-ride bikes, go on hikes, walk the dog (once he's presentable to go out), roller skate, swim, chase the Little Man. I want to go to bed tired and get up rested. I want to improve my posture and love my body-pre-op, post-op, pre-op, post-op. I have great plans, but that's what I'm good at. I'm a good planner-it's the follow through that's hard for me.

So far this week we've made a good start. We ate a few vegetables, more fruit, more water, and even had healthy popcorn-*SIGH* I went to the Life Center Monday and Tuesday, went skating last night with the girls and took the Little Man for a bike ride today. The weather has been great and I feel good. So what excuse do I have. I saw a cartoon that read "Would you rather exercise an hour a day or be dead 24 hours a day?" This is what I must do-it's my
"not gonna die-it".

Anybody out there want to join me?

I can do all things throught Christ which strengthenest me Phil. 4:13

Veggie Tales

Coughing, gagging, choking, crying, begging, lying, eye rolling-sounds like a horror movie, right? Well, actually that's just dinner time here. Vegetables are the enemy it seems. You know, trying to destroy me by way of my family. The last few meals here have been pretty miserable. I've even started trying to get dinner on the table before The Knight gets home so that some of the weeping and wailing has subsided before he walks in from a hard day at work. It's so great to slave over a meal-plan the menu, do the shopping, cook the food. Then when you proudly set it on the table, everyone bursts into tears. Sad. Real sad. Something's gotta give.

Dr. Edinfield, my oncologist, presented my case at what is called "the tumor board" last Thursday to get input from other doctors on what THEY thought was the best treatments for me. They all concurred that the hysterectomy and mastectomy was indeed all that was needed in my situation. So I am praising the Lord for that good news. I had an idea in the back of my head that maybe one mean doctor might come back and say that chemo would be good for someone my age and just to sock it to me just to be on the safe side. Don't get me wrong, if they said chemo was the way to go I would have done it willingly, but I sure am happy that didn't happen. So the only thing left to do is to, as the good doctor himself put it, be the poster child for healthy living. *SIGH* So this is where the torture by vegetables comes in. I haven't been so great at teaching my children, or my husband for that matter, to eat healthy and because I am the chief cook and bottle washer here, that responsibility is on my shoulders. So for the next 10 weeks, in conjunction with this Moving On oncology rehabilitation program, I will be trying to get into the habit of exercising and of course I will also try to eat healthier.
I went on a strange diet last spring to lose weight for my brother-in-law's wedding but then I promptly put most of it back on. The primary reason for this is my lack of control and love of food. I have lost and gained weight time and time again over the years only to fall back into my old habits. It's a mindset really and my mind has not been set right in the matter. So-my plan is to lose weight, get into shape and then go for reconstruction. Maybe that will be a motivator for me. But more than that, I owe it to my family. For two reasons- One, I need to be all that I can be for them, so I can be a healthy mom who lives to be 105. Two, I should want to help them learn healthy habits too so that they can live long and be healthy and enjoy their children. I understand that and I want to do this, but it's going to be so hard. (Why does the bad food have to taste so good?. Why can't I crave Brussels sprouts at 9:45 every night instead of movie theater butter popcorn? AGH!)
So I am making a pledge to myself.
I AM going to get fit- do some sort of exercise 5 times a week, get rid of fat stomach, be energetic.
I AM going to lose weight- I will never be skinny, nope not me. Just dropping twenty-five pounds would be good.
I AM going to try my best to provide healthy meals and snacks for my family-at least 5 days a week. (Sounds like I'm planning to lie on the couch and eat ice cream for two days each week, but really I'm just trying to be realistic, okay?)

This is going to be it. My dad would say "Shug, I know you can do it. When you meet your goal, I'll do something nice for ya." I AM going to do this. Once and for all.

Go me!

Movin' on to the couch

The Life Center in Greenville is a very nice place. It would be a great place to meet someone if you were single. I'm not single and I'm not looking, okay....I'm just sayin'. It was the first work out facility I've been in that didn't smell like sweaty feet. The people there were so friendly and I didn't feel too intimidated "working out" for the first time in a long time. They took it easy on me today, but can I just say that my arms hurt so bad I can barely type, but I love you so much that I didn't want to leave you without any updates. I am going to the couch pronto.

Woody has finally come to grips with his new look. He did spend most of the day in his kennel Monday and he doesn't want to ride with me to school. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and had a barking fit. That cracked me up! I really need to consult with some Golden Doodle owners and see what to do about his fur for future reference.

We are enjoying this spring weather and the Little Man loves to be outside. He wouldn't come in to potty today so I showed him how to teetee outside. Is this going to be a problem later?

One day this week Allison asked me if I was glad I had surgery and now I don't have to wear a bra. She said she guessed my armpits didn't get smelly anymore either.

I'm going to Canada! Okay not in person, but Tina Chapman did ask me to make a video for her ladies banquet in May. ( The Chapmans are our dear friends who moved to Canada last year to be missionaries.) So the last few nights I have been busy working on taping myself giving my testimony. I certainly do not feel like a gifted speaker or anything, but I do hope that sharing with people about what the Lord has done in my life will be a help to others. After they get over my accent, I hope God will get the glory through my story.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how the Lord is my strength and about what I would do if I did not have God to help me through all this. Good grief, just the struggles of daily life are enough to make someone depressed and hopeless. But then when you lose a loved one, or lose your job or get sick, how does someone who doesn't know the Lord deal with that? If I didn't trust that God was in control I would never sleep, or I'd probably be an alcoholic or something. I can remember before I accepted Christ that I had an emptiness I can't describe. And when I'd lie in bed at night I'd think a lot about dying. It used to make me mad and so uncomfortable when people would talk about God. So I'd just try to avoid them or at least keep them away from any discussions about the Bible, or Heaven or Salvation. I'm so glad that I have peace now. I don't have to worry, I can sleep well, and I don't have to avoid anybody. Maybe I still avoid people, but it's not for that reason!

I was reading some of my old posts from when my dad was sick and I read where I said that I was disappointed in him. It hurt me so much that I wrote that. I regret having those feelings and saying that. I just didn't know how sick he was. Lord, forgive me.

Alright. That's all I've got. How about starting a blog so I can keep updated on your life?

Check out Psalm 28:7- The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusted in him and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song I will praise him.